My Son's Surprise

Last week I was feeling melancholy for the second day in a row, not sure why, just knowing that everything was good in my life and there was no glaring reason for these feelings. I was praying and asking for the feelings to be lifted and was not having any luck. It was approaching lunch time and I was in the bathroom and yelled down to my son, Michael, in the kitchen: "what would you like me to make you for lunch?" He answered, "I have a surprise for you, but it's not ready yet." In the kitchen I could hear pots banging, the clinking of utensils, and savory smells. The chatter in my mind was saying things like, "I hope the kitchen isn't getting too messy," "I hope he isn't making something too fattening." As I walked into the kitchen after having these thoughts my son looked at my face and his expression changed from excitement to a frown. Taking in the pots on the stove and all the work my son had done to surprise me with a home cooked meal, I quickly changed the doubtful expression on my face to a smile, hugged my son, and expressed my gratitude for all that he had done. Michael's face lit up as we went to the stove to finish the meal.

At this point I had made a shift. My heart was wide open, the melancholy I was feeling for two days had lifted, and I wanted to express my gratitude to my son for the gift he had given me. I went into cooking instructor mode, and together Michael and I picked fresh herbs for the tomato sauce he was making and I taught him to save some of the pasta water to add to the pasta when it was done cooking ( the starch from the pasta water helps the sauce adhere to the pasta). We were a team, Michael and I working together to create a meal filled with our love for each other. Just so you know, Michael would not let me wash the dishes, yet another gift from my thirteen year old son.

Love As Our Source: A Gift for Valentine's Day

On this Valentine's Day love is in the air, as well as chocolates, flowers, fancy dinners and jewelry. We look for love from our friends, children and spouse. As children we are taught to search for love outside of ourselves, encouraged to find a mate with all the qualities best suited to us. So we spend many years searching for the perfect love. It isn't until many years have passed, and perhaps much pain, that we begin to realize the love that we were seeking was with us all along- inside ourselves. The source of our being is Love. Within each of us is a beacon of love and light which is available to us every minute of every day. Some call it the Christ within, God or Goddess, or their Higher Power. It does not matter what we choose to name this unlimited supply of love, wisdom and strength. What matters most is that we come to know this source as our true nature, one of love and good. We can turn to this source for creative inspiration, intuitive knowing, to guide us, and give us strength.

So today, on Valentine's Day, let us go within and connect with this force of love and light to give to our friends, spouse, or strangers passing by, so that they may come to know the truth of who they really are: Love. This is a gift we can give to everyone! Happy Valentine's Day!

A Life of Prayer

My grandma Marion prayed. She lit candles for me, for my husband Charles, and I am sure for many others. Faith. She had a difficult, hard life, as viewed from the perspective of outsiders looking in. However, did she view her life this way? My grandmother had a deep faith. With a son that was a drug addict, stole from her-even her wedding ring- to selfishly provide for his drug habit, she kept her faith. Two of my Grandmother's sons pre-deceased her. With a mentally retarded daughter, and a husband that passed away over twenty years prior to her passing, she had faith. She prayed, lit candles in church, and once a week she walked from her home in the Bronx to her place of worship, where she gave service by cooking for the priest. Father Zucherreli awaited my grandmother's presence, for the smells of her meatballs frying and her rich gravy simmering on the stove, for her laughter and conversation.

My grandmother often greeted me with a strong pinch of my cheek, saying in Italian, "sei bella," you are beautiful. Although she did not talk to me about her feelings, I knew that she loved me deeply. When I first met my husband, who was of the Jewish faith, she immediately saw his inner beauty, his light, and loved him unconditionally. Grandma Cardia would tell Charlie, "I lit a prayer candle for you at church." Other members of my family had difficulty seeing past my husband's heritage. Grandma did not. Her faith was larger then this, more encompassing. She was able to intuitively know that Charlie loved her, and she loved him. This is the essence of faith, a love that transcends our physical being, a love that encompasses all. Grandma knew this.